[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.2s] It happens all the time! It happens all the time! No big deal! Nothing to worry about, everyone!
[6.2s] Should we be worried about that loud crack sound? Are we-
[8.9s] I'm just gonna press these switches here.
[10.6s] How- how far is it to produce, Gru?
[13.3s] Oh, it's a- it's a ways, you know? It's- I don't quite remember. It's been a while. You know, I was a kid when we went with my pa.
[19.0s] Was anyone else under the impression that he'd been there?
[21.8s] Well, yeah- yeah, previously he said,
[24.2s] Oh, yeah, I've been there lots. I know the way. I know the way! Where you going? Come back! I know the way.
[31.2s] I know the way! I do! I know the way! Look, I- look, I see another spot ahead! I'm gonna go up to it!
[36.3s] Ah, you guys catch up!
[37.4s] While you're talking loudly, maybe you could answer, who's after you?
[41.5s] Well, they got a funny name, the brothers. You know, it's just a funny name. It's- it's- it's- it's- it's hysterical!
[47.1s] Ha ha ha ha!
[47.9s] Uh-huh.
[48.5s] Well, they're just called the Scrap Killer, brothers. You know, it's just a funny name.
[52.2s] Come on, buddy, we don't wanna hurt ya!
[55.1s] Alright, I draw the dagger.
[56.3s] You stole me! I told you not to steal me! You stole me!
[60.1s] Oh no, you stabbed him! Oh, you stabbed him in the mouth! I can't believe it!
[65.2s] No, I didn't!
[66.2s] Okay, well, I- I- maybe we go back to, uh, the river?
[69.6s] The ship now sits at the bottom of the river with a flag sticking up out of it that is singed.
[74.8s] But I didn't light it on fire! That wasn't me!
[82.2s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons! We're a D&D 5th Edition Actual Play Podcast, and I'm your
[102.3s] Dungeon Master, Russ More, and with me today is Karla Maxted!
[105.9s] That is me. I play Neryxious Akra, better known as Lim.
[110.9s] And Tom Laird!
[112.9s] That's me, and I play Moot.
[115.2s] And also, Amy More!
[116.7s] That's not me. Oh no, wait, that is me. And I play Sullivan Sleight!
[121.2s] And back for another week to reprise his role from The End of Time and Other Bothers,
[126.9s] Alba Salick, civilized in the greatest podcast ever, DM2GM, go check it out,
[131.5s] DM2GMcast.com. DM2GM.com. I know my own URL. It's Sean Howard!
[139.8s] I don't know why everyone's looking at me!
[142.8s] Welcome back, Gru. Welcome back.
[148.2s] No one said anything. What the fuck?
[150.2s] What were we supposed to say?
[150.7s] Yeah, we were all business.
[152.2s] Well, you know, normally it's like, I'm blah blah blah, shenanigan shenanigan.
[155.9s] Oh, sure sure sure.
[157.0s] Yeah, that's the thing now.
[158.9s] I said, that's not me.
[160.4s] Where you can find some more shenanigans
[163.0s] is over on Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. Thanks, Karla.
[167.3s] Tee it up for you.
[168.2s] Yep. Yep. Appreciate that. I need some help tonight, apparently.
[173.8s] Every episode, we dedicate to someone special.
[177.1s] And that someone today, everyone, is Daryl Johnson.
[181.0s] Thanks, special Daryl.
[182.2s] Daryl Johnson.
[183.2s] Special Daryl. What a great nickname you just gave him, Tom.
[187.8s] Well, we established that it was someone special.
[190.6s] Special Daryl.
[192.3s] I think we should add like a fun, quirky adjective to all the people we.
[198.2s] I think we should, but we will not remember by the next time we record.
[202.4s] Challenge accepted.
[203.2s] Also, we've missed 40 other people by this point who didn't get a fun adjective.
[207.7s] Things evolve over time.
[209.2s] I didn't get a fun adjective.
[211.0s] Sean didn't get a fun adjective.
[213.1s] Shiny Sean.
[214.2s] Shiny Sean.
[214.7s] Yeah, that's fun.
[217.0s] And special Daryl.
[219.8s] We got it.
[221.4s] We were almost going for an alliteration.
[223.4s] It evolved then into alliteration after that.
[225.9s] So you want everything to stay the same or you want things to get better, Russ?
[229.3s] Fuck it. Let's play D&D.
[233.3s] Well, I mean, I've cut them off before and it hasn't gone well for me.
[236.3s] And he was like Steve Rowling.
[237.6s] Steve Rowling, over here.
[238.6s] I can't hear you, Tom.
[239.6s] I'm too busy talking.
[243.0s] Moot, Glim, Sully, and Gru stand staring at a sunken ship.
[250.8s] With a flaming flag that has sunken into the river.
[255.7s] Can I ask what the flag was of?
[257.9s] Yeah, like we should have known that, right?
[259.3s] Because we were on that boat for several days.
[261.0s] I mean, we were flying that flag.
[262.4s] I'm just curious what the flag we were flying was.
[264.6s] Well, it's sort of the family.
[265.9s] Because see, those brothers, they sort of owned this boat too.
[269.5s] Oh, so we didn't even take their flag down as we were
[273.9s] riding this stolen property for days.
[277.8s] Oh, Gru.
[279.5s] Oh, Gru.
[280.6s] Yeah.
[282.4s] Well?
[282.6s] I didn't really think about that part, you know?
[285.3s] I'm hedging a bet you didn't think about a lot of this, Gru.
[288.2s] Hey, hey, no, I got us here.
[290.0s] Look, we're on the shore.
[292.1s] We're in one piece.
[293.7s] Yeah, we're on the way to the place.
[298.3s] Bredouk.
[298.6s] We're on the way to Bredouk.
[299.4s] Yeah, Bredouk.
[300.5s] Yeah, we're on the way.
[301.5s] You know, it's not far.
[305.0s] Oh, God.
[305.7s] I think we can all agree that Gru doesn't know we're Bredouk.
[308.7s] No, I don't.
[311.0s] I've never even heard of an onion sandwich and I eat all sorts of weird shit.
[317.1s] Oh, God, he's crying.
[318.6s] He's crying now.
[319.7s] Oh, Moot, Moot, go talk to him.
[321.4s] He's crying.
[322.2s] He's doing feelings and stuff.
[323.8s] All right, all right, I got this.
[325.0s] Uh, okay, Gru, what's the problem?
[329.5s] I don't know.
[330.8s] You ever have one of those days where you just feel like everything's a mistake?
[335.0s] Sure.
[335.4s] Yeah, today is one of those days.
[338.0s] That's, that's, uh, yep, I think we're all there with you.
[341.6s] And then you take that day and you multiply it by 30.
[345.0s] Okay, all right, that's a lot of mistakes.
[347.2s] Uh, what can we do to, to make this better?
[350.6s] Oh, oh, Sully is making like, hit, like, like, kind of, no.
[355.0s] I mean, what can we do to, to get rid of that dagger?
[360.9s] Moot just throws his hands up at Sully like, I don't know what you want.
[364.0s] Take the whey out of that.
[366.6s] It's my only love.
[368.2s] The dagger and me, it's my only relationship, my only thing of meaning in my whole life.
[373.3s] Well, that and my mom, you know.
[376.1s] Okay.
[376.5s] And, and where's your mom?
[378.6s] Oh, she's dead.
[379.5s] Oh, okay.
[380.2s] Great.
[380.9s] Great.
[381.3s] Yep.
[382.0s] Should have seen that one coming.
[384.1s] Okay.
[384.7s] Um, okay.
[386.4s] Well, you know, um, you, you said you know the way to produce.
[390.7s] So maybe let's, let's start making our way there and we can, we can figure out how to
[396.4s] turn your day around.
[398.1s] And he throws a thumbs up back at Sully like, I know this is going to come as a
[402.4s] big surprise, but I don't even know where we are.
[405.0s] Okay.
[405.4s] Yep.
[405.7s] Figured.
[406.2s] All right.
[406.6s] Um, Sully, Glim, any, any suggestions here?
[409.9s] What can we do?
[411.2s] Do we have a map of some kind?
[414.6s] Anybody have a map of some kind?
[416.5s] Wait.
[416.8s] I need to blow my nose again.
[417.4s] Yeah, I do.
[418.2s] I got some map.
[419.0s] I do.
[419.5s] I have a map.
[421.0s] Wait, wait, wait.
[422.6s] It's here somewhere.
[424.1s] It's here somewhere.
[424.9s] Uh, I have an entire map of Scournooble.
[428.1s] Okay.
[428.9s] Um, well, that's where we left from.
[431.4s] So maybe we can see the river exiting Scournooble, I guess.
[436.7s] Yeah, we can see where the river exits.
[439.4s] Like she's saying, yes.
[441.6s] Okay.
[442.2s] Well, um, is there any, is there any directions on the map that like say
[447.8s] like this way to this place?
[451.0s] Uh, yep.
[453.4s] To the east, it says it follows a trail or a road that says to Perdusk.
[461.4s] And then it kind of cuts off really quickly because it is a city map of Scournooble.
[467.5s] And where is the river in relation to that path?
[472.4s] Are they at least, they're both going easterly?
[474.6s] Yes.
[475.1s] Yeah, it runs along the, from what you can see, and as far as the map goes,
[479.4s] it runs along where the trail runs.
[483.1s] Well, I don't know, guys.
[484.2s] Do we go back along the river and get back to Scournooble so we know where we are?
[489.7s] Oh, oh no.
[491.1s] Oh, I don't know if that's a good idea.
[493.3s] We just killed, we all just killed two of the, the Scrap Killer brothers.
[498.9s] I guess I should have clarified maybe when I said we.
[502.3s] It doesn't explicitly exclude you, but it doesn't explicitly include you either, Gru.
[509.4s] Yeah, I know it.
[510.2s] I get you.
[510.7s] I get you.
[511.2s] A hundred percent.
[512.2s] Okay.
[512.6s] A hundred percent.
[514.6s] What if we just, it looks like the road kind of follows the same path.
[519.7s] It's a river.
[520.2s] Maybe we continue walking up river and see what we see.
[523.8s] I don't know about you guys, but I'm not getting the,
[525.6s] I'm not getting back in that thing and adjust her toward the,
[529.7s] on fire sunken raft.
[532.0s] Yeah.
[534.9s] Okay.
[535.2s] I mean, we can just keep going easterly, keep following the river.
[540.5s] There'll be another settlement along the river at some point, right?
[544.5s] Yeah.
[544.9s] Yeah.
[545.4s] That sounds good.
[546.3s] Of course.
[547.0s] Just the three mouths of tears.
[549.9s] But now it is probably dark, right?
[552.2s] It's getting there.
[554.0s] Maybe we walk.
[554.6s] How far away are those dead bodies?
[556.5s] Like an hour?
[557.2s] An hour.
[558.7s] Why did you want to use them for like kindling?
[563.0s] I wanted to make sure we hadn't walked like 30 feet away and then we're like,
[566.2s] I guess we'll just set up camp here.
[568.3s] That bugbear is probably full for a while.
[572.6s] We should probably head up river a little bit till we find a spot to set up camp right
[577.3s] here beside this sunken yet on fire raft and hear the dead body.
[581.9s] It seems like a bad choice.
[583.8s] We should probably just remove ourselves from these kind of situations.
[586.6s] Yeah.
[587.2s] I agree.
[589.0s] Yeah.
[591.1s] We cut to a couple hours later.
[594.7s] Probably you would walk away following the river.
[597.0s] We want to get a good distance.
[598.7s] There's a little alcove.
[599.8s] You've made a clearing, started a fire, set up your bedrolls
[604.3s] and are set up ready to camp for the night.
[611.0s] Hey, Gru.
[612.3s] Yeah?
[612.8s] Do not unsheat that dagger while we are sleeping.
[615.4s] Yeah, no, I, yeah, no, sorry, you know, if just once why I want to make sure she can
[620.0s] breathe is all, you know, I'm like super serious right now.
[623.0s] If I wake up to a fucking shop object singing, I'm not going to be happy.
[628.2s] Yeah, no, I got that.
[629.4s] So I got it.
[630.2s] Yeah.
[632.5s] Okay.
[633.0s] I'm going to make flapjacks in the morning.
[635.0s] I'm a good cook.
[635.8s] I'm going to prove to you all.
[636.8s] I'm going to make breakfast.
[638.4s] Okay.
[639.0s] So watches, anybody keen to take first watch?
[643.4s] Keen to take first watch?
[644.8s] I can go first.
[646.2s] Are we letting this guy take a watch?
[648.0s] No, no, we are definitely not.
[648.9s] No, I think he sleeps till breakfast.
[650.7s] Yeah.
[651.0s] Okay.
[651.8s] Yeah, he'll prove his worth at breakfast with those flapjacks.
[655.0s] I feel like he's probably already sleeping.
[659.8s] He like snuggled up with the dagger against his face.
[662.6s] He said his thing about breakfast and then just fell asleep.
[665.0s] Okay, moot, roll me a straight d20.
[672.6s] 15.
[674.4s] Nothing really happens of any note.
[676.7s] You see some small animals kind of come out of the forest and move towards the river.
[683.4s] There's like badgers, small mice that kind of run around.
[688.2s] Are you writing down like every animal you see?
[690.4s] I'm curious.
[692.5s] I believe moot is keeping a tally of every animal that he sees.
[696.3s] So you see two badgers, eight mice.
[700.6s] You do see a fox.
[702.2s] There's two or three owls that kind of move around the trees you see up in the sky.
[709.4s] So you have to cross off the tally marks that he did for the mice
[712.6s] when the owl swooped down and eat them.
[715.6s] Oh, down to seven.
[717.2s] Yep, that's fair.
[719.9s] And your watch comes to an end.
[723.8s] Okay, I'll take next watch.
[725.8s] Swapsies happens.
[726.9s] D20, please.
[730.2s] 17.
[731.7s] Uh, you, you wake up and swap with moot and stretch and get ready for the night.
[741.6s] And a couple hours goes by.
[744.3s] You see more of the same of what I described for moot.
[746.4s] Lots of nocturnal creatures kind of scurrying about,
[750.1s] avoiding the camp and the low fire that you have going.
[754.7s] But then between that second and third hour, you hear a crackle.
[761.3s] Coming from just above the tree line.
[765.2s] And you look up and you see like lightning
[768.6s] shooting across and starting to spin in the sky.
[774.9s] Uh, okay.
[776.3s] Well, yes, I'm just going to watch that happen because.
[782.2s] Well, you're not going to run toward it and try to stop it.
[784.9s] And hold your war pick up and try and conduct.
[788.1s] Oh, yeah.
[788.7s] Thor this ship, do it.
[789.8s] Exactly.
[791.7s] It begins to swirl faster and faster.
[794.6s] And as it does, you hear echoes of screaming beyond what this vortex is creating.
[803.2s] You see a red light begin to emanate from it.
[807.3s] And it's like approaching us or still up above the trees.
[810.6s] It's still in the same spot, just kind of growing in size.
[815.6s] Uh, guys, guys, guys, you should.
[820.2s] No, I have a really, no, I have a really good internal time.
[823.6s] It hasn't been three hours.
[824.7s] You're right.
[825.0s] But there's a thing.
[825.8s] And so I'm on watch.
[826.7s] It's like, warn us if there's a thing, not just to just deal with whatever the thing is.
[831.1s] Sure. What's up?
[832.1s] Just look exactly.
[834.1s] Just look up.
[835.1s] What?
[835.4s] Oh, what'd you do?
[837.1s] I didn't do anything.
[838.1s] I was just sitting here.
[839.7s] That wasn't there when I was here.
[842.0s] No, I.
[842.6s] That looks magic is all balls.
[844.5s] I saw two or three owls earlier.
[847.0s] Nothing like the owls caused this.
[849.4s] I don't think so.
[850.2s] Do you think that's a fire owl?
[852.2s] Oh, does such a thing exist?
[854.2s] I mean, maybe.
[855.0s] Keep it down.
[855.7s] Some of us are sleeping.
[858.0s] Well, there's like a big.
[859.5s] Oh, yeah, grew wake up.
[866.3s] As you're as you're all starting, you know, grews last to wake up.
[869.8s] The three of you are up and looking at this.
[871.8s] It's swirling and you hear the screaming more present
[875.3s] and the red light begins to emanate.
[876.8s] And like this black like Icarus begins to come from it
[880.3s] in an explosion of energy.
[883.5s] A flesh.
[887.2s] Mounded.
[890.9s] Monster comes erupting out of this hole
[894.2s] and strikes the ground about 20 feet from you.
[898.0s] A fleshy man monster and like splattery.
[902.4s] Fleshy man.
[903.2s] It's like molded.
[905.0s] It's got two legs, one small arm, one long arm.
[908.5s] I don't like that small arm, baby hand business
[911.9s] that has on the end of the longer arm.
[914.4s] It like extends and contracts and has teeth at the end
[918.3s] where its fingers are.
[919.7s] Oh, it's so ugly.
[920.8s] It's face is just like falling apart
[924.6s] and it looks at you and just screams.
[927.8s] Roll for initiative.
[932.0s] Oh, my God.
[932.6s] I sure hope the dagger is a fun song.
[934.3s] Nineteen.
[937.0s] I rolled a one.
[938.9s] Nice.
[939.7s] Exciting.
[940.8s] You guys, I think my dice have finally changed their mind
[943.3s] because I think they just needed a home
[945.1s] and now they're very happy.
[946.2s] I think I have her.
[947.6s] I have Amy's dice eight.
[950.5s] Oh, I got an eight as well.
[952.9s] We both have Amy's dice.
[954.3s] So you guys can decide who goes first each round.
[956.5s] Sean can go first.
[958.1s] Great.
[959.7s] Okay.
[961.1s] The fleshy demon monster is up first.
[965.1s] They rolled better than I did?
[966.6s] You bet it did.
[968.5s] It charges towards Sully.
[971.8s] Uh-huh.
[973.8s] Naturally.
[975.0s] Oh, that's a nat 20.
[977.0s] Fuck.
[978.4s] And goes to bite you with its hand mouth.
[984.1s] Don't you have some kind of like-
[985.0s] Can you dodge it?
[986.1s] That's-
[986.6s] Yeah, I was going to say don't you have some kind of-
[988.3s] Oh, you can't on a nat 20, I guess.
[989.8s] Aren't you anti hand mouth?
[992.3s] You're going to take 12 piercing damage
[997.4s] and succeed on a constitution saving throw.
[1003.5s] I never succeed on throws.
[1007.5s] That's an eight.
[1009.4s] So you are now poisoned.
[1011.2s] Cool.
[1012.3s] At the end of each long rest,
[1014.0s] the poisoned target can repeat the saving throw,
[1018.1s] ending the effect on itself on a success.
[1020.9s] If the target is reduced to zero hit points
[1023.1s] while poisoned in this way,
[1024.4s] it dies and instantly transforms
[1026.7s] into a living abyssal wretch.
[1029.5s] Guys, I'm three points away.
[1031.9s] Heal me of my poison.
[1033.4s] Uh, so it is your turn
[1034.9s] and at the beginning of your turn,
[1037.1s] you must make a wisdom saving throw.
[1039.9s] Oh my god.
[1043.2s] A negative one.
[1045.1s] 10.
[1048.2s] Uh, now you can take your turn.
[1050.7s] Thank you.
[1052.7s] I'm going to hit him in that face hand with my rapier.
[1059.5s] That was a nat one.
[1062.3s] Amy's back.
[1064.4s] She never left, Sean.
[1065.2s] I was here the whole time.
[1068.5s] But I have a plus seven.
[1070.9s] Does it matter?
[1072.5s] So what, so what did you get?
[1073.5s] Eight.
[1074.3s] I mean, a nat one, a nat one.
[1076.9s] Okay, so what's the worst thing
[1080.5s] that can happen here, everybody?
[1083.1s] She trips and falls over.
[1085.6s] Sean, you're so kind.
[1087.4s] She somehow impales herself on the face.
[1089.1s] I didn't say impale.
[1090.7s] I said trip and fall over.
[1091.9s] Can you impale yourself on a hand, Tom?
[1094.2s] Get your head out of your ass.
[1096.0s] When it's a face hand, maybe.
[1098.4s] You go reach out to stab the creature
[1102.3s] but slip on some of the ooze that's dripping off
[1105.7s] and you fall to the ground.
[1107.1s] You're like right underneath it
[1108.7s] as it's dripping down on top of you.
[1112.3s] Gru, you're up next.
[1113.4s] Yeah, that's not okay.
[1114.7s] Sully!
[1116.3s] Gru draws the singing sword, which sings.
[1119.1s] Anybody?
[1119.8s] It's disgusting.
[1123.9s] Let's stab it.
[1125.2s] And because the creature is in within five feet of an enemy,
[1130.2s] I'm going to go for sneak attack.
[1132.3s] Okay.
[1133.5s] That is a 17 to hit.
[1139.2s] That will hit.
[1141.7s] That is three plus four is seven.
[1145.2s] Oh, wait, but I do 3d6, an extra 3d6.
[1147.6s] So seven.
[1149.1s] Okay.
[1149.4s] So Gru comes screaming, it's Sully!
[1152.7s] And does another.
[1154.8s] So seven plus 13.
[1157.2s] This thing lets out a hideous scream
[1160.0s] and it like pulls you in close with its one tiny arm
[1164.5s] and is like just screaming and spittle is coming in your face.
[1167.7s] This is definitely not social distancing.
[1170.6s] Oh, and I should say that Gru has his eyes closed
[1173.2s] as he's trying to stab.
[1174.3s] Of course.
[1174.9s] Yeah, naturally.
[1177.8s] Yeah, I can basically do a...
[1180.4s] I can disengage as a bonus action.
[1182.8s] Okay.
[1183.9s] So you're moving away.
[1186.0s] Well, I'm standing over Sully, but yeah, I don't know.
[1188.3s] Maybe I don't.
[1188.8s] No, I just sit there trying to stab it.
[1190.9s] Okay, perfect.
[1192.2s] This episode of Dumbgeons and Dragons
[1194.0s] is brought to you by Hey, It's Jolly Entertainment.
[1196.7s] You can purchase their new novel The Veiled Monarch
[1199.1s] on Amazon, Kindle, and coming soon to audible.com
[1202.9s] or visit heyitsjolly.com to get your copy today.
[1207.0s] Humans always tell me they think it's easier to be non-human.
[1210.5s] They don't know what it's like to be one of us,
[1212.8s] how difficult it is to keep your head above water.
[1215.5s] You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?
[1218.7s] Faulkner looked back over his shoulder.
[1221.5s] Not a clue.
[1223.1s] I believe you have a mole.
[1226.6s] Vince flew at Faulkner, grabbing his shirt collar.
[1229.4s] Yes, I'm angry.
[1230.8s] I love them.
[1232.7s] You love them too.
[1234.1s] Constance was like a sister to you.
[1236.5s] You call Robert your nephew.
[1239.4s] Leo and I both struggled against Faulkner and Brian.
[1242.2s] Our minds and emotions were in such a state
[1243.9s] that we didn't know what we were doing.
[1245.9s] All we could think of was getting back inside that room
[1248.8s] and killing Jacob Stewart.
[1250.8s] Dad, Brian, please!
[1254.0s] Get The Veiled Monarch on Amazon, Kindle,
[1257.3s] and coming soon to audible.com
[1259.7s] or visit heyitsjolly.com to get your copy.
[1264.0s] Moot, you're up next.
[1265.6s] So you've got Sully underneath,
[1267.7s] you've got Gru blindly stabbed,
[1270.0s] Sully underneath, you've got Gru blindly stabbing
[1272.4s] as this thing is screaming in Gru's face.
[1277.6s] I'm gonna cast Chill Touch on this thing.
[1281.7s] Okay.
[1283.5s] So I hit it with a ranged spell attack.
[1287.2s] Is there any vocal part of this?
[1290.4s] And do you come up to it like,
[1292.0s] I said brr, it's cold in here.
[1295.7s] There must be some moot in here.
[1297.2s] Must be some weird flesh golems in the air.
[1299.8s] The dagger picks it up,
[1300.9s] it's like we'll kill it and stab it
[1303.2s] and make it feel good.
[1304.4s] Oh wee, oh wee, oh wee, ice, ice, ice.
[1306.8s] It's gonna pump our gas someday.
[1309.5s] This episode brought to you by...
[1312.6s] Bring it on.
[1314.2s] Yeah, so I throw out my hand to use this skill
[1319.2s] that summons a ghostly skeletal hand.
[1321.6s] But instead of that happening,
[1325.0s] a firebolt leaves my hands
[1328.3s] and goes streaking towards this weird fleshy thing.
[1332.0s] Okay, what do I gotta do for firebolt?
[1337.0s] I had to roll a spell attack,
[1340.4s] so I hit it so it should be fine.
[1343.6s] You take 1d10 fire damage.
[1345.2s] Okay.
[1348.4s] Oh, that's a 10.
[1349.8s] And anything flammable that it might be wearing,
[1352.9s] which I don't think is wearing anything,
[1354.2s] gets ignited.
[1354.3s] What about the goo?
[1356.0s] Does the goo get ignited?
[1357.3s] It hits, and the goo that covers its skin evaporates,
[1362.8s] but the skin beneath isn't singed.
[1367.8s] Nobody likes you right now.
[1369.2s] I know.
[1370.2s] Roll to see if you roll on your table.
[1373.4s] Oh, right.
[1375.4s] Are we going with just the 5% chance?
[1378.5s] Yeah, we'll do what we talked about last time
[1380.0s] where if you don't get it, it bumps up.
[1382.9s] Okay.
[1385.0s] That's a 5, so it should be good.
[1386.1s] So now, next time, if you roll a 1 or a 2.
[1388.8s] Okay.
[1389.6s] The stakes are high.
[1390.6s] Glim!
[1390.8s] It's like the lottery.
[1393.1s] Okay, well, fire breath weapon seems like not the best choice
[1397.2s] because it doesn't seem to be working,
[1399.0s] so I, as an attack,
[1402.4s] am going to just come at it with my war pick,
[1407.4s] which is a 14.
[1409.1s] 14 will hit.
[1410.9s] Okay, great.
[1413.3s] And that will do 13 damage.
[1417.8s] And then, as a bonus action,
[1420.0s] I would like to cast Shield of Faith.
[1424.7s] So a shimmering field will appear
[1426.8s] and surround my friend Sully
[1429.7s] and give him plus 2 to AC.
[1433.7s] Okay, I'm going to stack this
[1435.6s] so that you cast your Shield of Faith
[1438.0s] as you, like, fly down with this war pick
[1441.0s] and then tell me how this thing dies.
[1446.4s] Well, I mean, it must look kind of magical
[1448.1s] because I'm flying through the air,
[1449.5s] basically, with my war pick
[1451.0s] and there was just some fire
[1453.7s] and there's my very Glimery
[1456.5s] and then also this Radiance Burst
[1458.5s] from my Shield of Faith that I just cast.
[1461.2s] So it looks...
[1462.8s] Hella dope, I do believe.
[1464.4s] It was staged in an action film.
[1466.8s] Furious...
[1468.0s] Yeah, like a furious angel
[1469.7s] just destroyed this flesh monster.
[1475.0s] And it, like, explodes into this goop
[1477.6s] that just rains down on top of Sully.
[1480.5s] It's set up.
[1482.5s] It's in my mouth.
[1483.7s] It's in my mouth.
[1484.8s] Oh.
[1486.0s] Oh, my friend.
[1486.9s] Oh, my goodness.
[1487.9s] I'm so sorry.
[1490.0s] Let me...
[1490.6s] Oh, it's horrible.
[1493.2s] It just...
[1493.8s] It smells.
[1495.0s] It tastes worse than it smells.
[1497.7s] Okay.
[1498.9s] Okay.
[1499.5s] We're all such fierce warriors,
[1500.9s] just, like, dry heaving.
[1503.5s] I'm going to put a hand on Sully
[1505.1s] and be like,
[1505.7s] you don't look so good, buddy.
[1507.8s] And lay on hands and give him, like, five hit points.
[1521.9s] Okay.
[1522.4s] Five teen.
[1523.0s] You have to also mark the poisoned condition under conditions.
[1532.2s] Oh, fair enough.
[1535.3s] No, but lay on hands cures poison.
[1538.2s] Well, it's either or.
[1539.6s] Oh, I would like you to cure my poison.
[1542.4s] Great.
[1542.7s] Then your poison's healed.
[1543.7s] That also would have been five HP worth.
[1547.5s] Because I think that would fuck me up long term.
[1552.3s] Okay.
[1552.8s] Maybe.
[1553.3s] Okay.
[1554.8s] Who stole something from the face monster?
[1558.7s] Was it you?
[1559.6s] Did you steal something from the face monster?
[1561.8s] I think we're all looking at Gru here.
[1564.0s] I swear.
[1565.3s] Never seen him before in my life.
[1567.1s] I thought you had done something.
[1568.4s] You went right for Sully.
[1571.0s] Well, most people do.
[1572.7s] It is true.
[1573.3s] Sully, did you do anything to this monster?
[1574.9s] No, I was sleeping.
[1576.3s] I'm very, very threatening.
[1580.4s] People just tend to come after me.
[1583.6s] My eyes are closed and I'm scraping goo off my face.
[1588.6s] I can't really see what's happening right now.
[1591.6s] Besides, you're two very tall,
[1594.8s] no offense, but probably more intimidating looking friends.
[1598.4s] I love it.
[1601.5s] I've never seen anything like that before.
[1605.7s] Are we in some kind of haunted woods?
[1610.6s] Gru, do you know?
[1611.6s] I don't know why I'm asking you.
[1612.3s] No, I wouldn't know.
[1615.1s] Well, I had a map.
[1616.0s] Maybe we could check the map of Scornuble
[1618.8s] and see if it says this way to the haunted woods.
[1622.8s] Oh, wait, I think I gave it to Glim.
[1626.6s] Do you guys think this has anything to do
[1629.8s] with the stuff that we heard from the boy
[1634.7s] that had less ocular appendages than others?
[1640.8s] In the graveyard?
[1641.6s] Yeah.
[1643.2s] Oh, I mean.
[1647.1s] Like, it seemed like a gate was opening.
[1651.6s] I don't know, I've never seen a gate before.
[1656.1s] I've seen a gate before.
[1657.9s] Never seen a, you know.
[1659.6s] Not an otherworldly gate.
[1661.6s] Yeah.
[1664.4s] I mean, maybe, but we're not even close.
[1668.0s] We're not ready to save the world yet,
[1670.0s] so there can't just be gates opening.
[1671.2s] I don't know if they're going to wait
[1672.6s] until we're ready to save the world, Glim.
[1675.6s] Well, they have to because it's my destiny
[1677.6s] to save the world.
[1678.3s] So if I'm not ready, they can't come yet.
[1679.6s] Yeah, but aren't people saving the world all over the place,
[1684.8s] like all of the time, though?
[1688.3s] Well, I don't know.
[1689.1s] I mean, that's a really beautiful sentiment
[1690.8s] that I wasn't expecting from you, Sully.
[1693.2s] It just came from somewhere inside of me.
[1694.9s] I don't know.
[1695.7s] But I mean, like, the Decimators of Dragons are doing,
[1698.5s] did they're saying-
[1699.7s] Oh, yeah, I mean-
[1700.5s] Whoa, whoa, okay, wait, I was all on board
[1702.5s] until you started comparing yourself
[1704.0s] to the Decimators of Dragons.
[1705.8s] That's just crazy, crazy.
[1707.8s] Come on, they're like the biggest heroes ever.
[1711.2s] Though I hear one of them got eaten by a dragon.
[1715.6s] Yeah, that was really rough.
[1717.0s] I knew somebody who knew somebody who knew Nularaaaa.
[1719.6s] It was-
[1720.8s] Oh, my God.
[1722.0s] No way.
[1722.7s] Yeah.
[1724.1s] And if I ever see that dragon,
[1727.8s] you don't even want to know what I'd do to him
[1730.3s] or her or them.
[1732.1s] I very much want to know what he'll do to me.
[1733.3s] Wait, you know, like, killer stuff.
[1735.7s] Oh, yeah.
[1736.8s] Oh, okay.
[1738.4s] I thought it was going to be a little more,
[1739.7s] like, descriptive than that.
[1741.3s] Yeah, like-
[1742.1s] I'm just saying, I think that everybody,
[1744.7s] probably all over the world,
[1746.0s] has their own specific destinies,
[1747.7s] and maybe the world is meant to be saved
[1750.1s] maybe one or two times
[1751.7s] before we get around to our chance to save in it, is all.
[1756.2s] Oh.
[1758.0s] Yeah, I mean, you're probably right.
[1759.8s] Everybody does have their own destiny, so-
[1762.5s] Yeah, you can be in line after me.
[1764.1s] I'm going to save it now,
[1765.4s] and you guys can save it next.
[1768.2s] I feel like we all just kind of turned
[1769.7s] and looked at him at the exact same time.
[1774.1s] Well, great.
[1776.1s] I'm going to go back to bed.
[1778.9s] Yeah, I guess Gru's got dibs on it this time, guys.
[1781.5s] Dip in the water over here.
[1784.2s] Just kind of rinse off a little bit.
[1785.7s] Check it for face monsters!
[1788.4s] What?
[1790.6s] Check the water for face monsters!
[1792.9s] Face monsters?
[1796.1s] Yeah!
[1798.3s] Like the thing we just fought?
[1801.5s] Yeah!
[1801.7s] Like that came out of the sky,
[1803.7s] out of, like, a lightning cloud?
[1807.7s] Yeah, we'll check the sky, too!
[1812.1s] Okay, so I guess just be safe,
[1814.1s] is what Gru's trying to say.
[1815.7s] He just like shakes his head
[1817.2s] and walks towards the water.
[1841.3s] We cut to the next day.
[1843.7s] The four of you,
[1844.8s] well, the three of you are walking
[1847.1s] quick-paced along the river.
[1850.5s] Gru is trailing behind trying to keep up.
[1854.6s] So, you guys know how before
[1857.3s] I was always doing, like, ice stuff with my wild magic?
[1861.4s] Yeah, I noticed you kind of like
[1862.8s] all about the hot stuff now.
[1864.1s] Can you choose that?
[1865.4s] Yeah, I don't know.
[1867.4s] That just, I don't know.
[1870.6s] I thought maybe you read a book
[1872.0s] when we were with wise Mr. Meeseeks or something.
[1874.6s] Oh, that'd be totally against the rules.
[1876.5s] Mr. Meeseeks would be so mad at you.
[1878.1s] Mr. Meeseeks would not have been
[1879.5s] so mad at you.
[1879.9s] I know he was very clear
[1880.9s] about not reading the books,
[1882.0s] but I thought maybe you just happened
[1883.4s] to read one and you got
[1884.4s] all these new powers or something.
[1885.9s] No, I mean, maybe it was the trip
[1889.3s] on the weird raft?
[1890.5s] I'm not sure what happened,
[1891.7s] but yeah, just all of a sudden
[1893.7s] it's not the ice stuff anymore.
[1896.0s] Well, you did say it is wild magic, right?
[1899.4s] So who's to say whether or not
[1902.5s] it is at all consistent?
[1905.4s] Maybe you could do all the magics, Moot.
[1909.4s] I feel like I'm being
[1910.2s] way too fucking supportive lately.
[1911.9s] You guys are rubbing off on me.
[1916.0s] Sorry about that, Sully.
[1918.0s] And I wink over at Glim like
[1919.4s] we're not sorry.
[1923.5s] I'm sorry about the pancakes, everyone.
[1925.7s] No, wait up for me.
[1927.5s] I said I'm sorry.
[1928.6s] To make up for my nices, I yell by.
[1930.3s] Everything is your fault.
[1932.1s] Everything.
[1935.7s] I'm gonna make it up for your lunch.
[1937.4s] I'm gonna make sandwiches.
[1940.4s] We don't really want onion sandwiches.
[1943.9s] Yeah, I'll make something else.
[1947.2s] Okay, maybe we'll come to a town.
[1948.8s] Yeah, I hope we come to a town.
[1950.2s] I'm sure.
[1950.7s] I'm sure we're gonna.
[1951.7s] We can't be far away now.
[1954.3s] Yeah, yeah.
[1956.5s] Grew from behind.
[1958.1s] You look back down the river
[1959.6s] and you see it kind of bends out.
[1962.6s] You see another raft kind of rounding a bend
[1966.7s] and ducking back behind the tree line.
[1970.0s] Suddenly I'm with the group.
[1971.7s] Hey guys, I think we should pick it up a little,
[1974.1s] you know, get those legs moving.
[1976.9s] You know, let's double time.
[1978.4s] I'm like literally almost
[1981.9s] practically sprinting right now.
[1983.5s] Yeah, well, I think we should keep that up.
[1985.8s] Yeah, you know, just keep a good pace.
[1987.9s] Grew, I've noticed when you start acting weird,
[1989.7s] something bad's about to happen.
[1990.9s] So you want to just maybe fill us in
[1992.5s] before it happens this time?
[1995.7s] Yeah, no, nothing.
[1996.7s] You know, I just may have seen, you know,
[1998.9s] another raft with, you know,
[2000.9s] the rest of the family on it.
[2002.7s] So we should probably make good time
[2005.0s] and get to that next town.
[2006.4s] As you say that you come to the end edge
[2009.3s] of where the forest kind of wraps back around itself
[2011.8s] and you see up and over a hill,
[2014.5s] the edges of what looks like a large city.
[2019.0s] Oh, thank God.
[2019.7s] I told you, look, Grew,
[2021.4s] I deliver in the end, right there.
[2025.7s] Do you know what city this is?
[2027.8s] That was some refreshing honesty from Grew.
[2030.2s] Okay, so.
[2031.3s] But it is a city.
[2032.4s] He's right about that.
[2033.3s] I'm going to look and see if we're there.
[2035.7s] Pretty close or not so close or?
[2038.1s] You can see quite a ways
[2039.3s] based on how the river is kind of bending.
[2041.1s] It's kind of ducking in and out of the tree line.
[2044.1s] It would probably be to you
[2045.5s] in about 20 or 30 minutes based on.
[2050.2s] And how far are we from the city?
[2051.9s] Allow me to triangulate.
[2053.3s] Oh, hmm.
[2055.7s] Or allow me to ask you to triangulate.
[2059.7s] GPS.
[2060.3s] Unfortunately, you're going to be like
[2062.3s] five feet short of being able to get there
[2065.7s] before they reach you.
[2069.5s] So, but only Sully's going to die.
[2072.1s] So it's okay.
[2074.4s] I mean, if you booked it,
[2076.5s] you'd probably get there pretty close,
[2079.3s] you know, just before they were able to catch up to you or.
[2082.4s] I mean, I guess if we're still walking in
[2084.2s] and they're coming up the river,
[2085.4s] even if they get to the shore,
[2086.8s] like we're still going to be ahead of them.
[2088.0s] They still need to walk in land.
[2089.3s] They still need to walk in.
[2090.5s] Exactly.
[2091.3s] Let's just, I mean, I don't know who's on that raft,
[2095.1s] but it's probably nobody good.
[2096.4s] So let's go to the city.
[2099.6s] Shall we run to the city?
[2101.3s] Yeah, I like that idea.
[2102.9s] But like calmly.
[2104.1s] Yeah.
[2104.8s] Just in case they like have.
[2106.5s] Frolic, yeah.
[2107.7s] Let us frolic through this field.
[2109.4s] Oh, that sounds like a delight.
[2111.0s] They think we're doing something dangerous.
[2112.5s] So just like really happily,
[2115.3s] joyfully run to the city.
[2117.0s] I grab some wildflowers as I skip through the field.
[2120.1s] I can give some music with the dagger while we frolic.
[2123.3s] No, you leave that dagger.
[2124.7s] No, no, I think we're okay.
[2126.1s] Okay, all right, all right, I'm sorry.
[2127.4s] It's just going to draw attention to ourselves.
[2130.4s] Okay, I got it.
[2132.7s] Okay, you pick, Daisy says you frolic.
[2135.8s] Yep.
[2136.7s] And you are quickly running or.
[2140.5s] Frolicing.
[2141.3s] Frolicing towards the city.
[2144.5s] You get near the edge of the city and you hear like a whistle.
[2153.6s] And then.
[2153.8s] Guys, that sounds a lot like a.
[2155.4s] Oh, right behind you.
[2158.5s] The ground explodes with magical energy that washes out.
[2162.3s] Everybody make a dexterity saving throw.
[2166.5s] I just thought to myself, time to redeem yourself dice.
[2169.7s] When it rolled me a five.
[2173.2s] Oh, solid redemption.
[2177.3s] Six.
[2179.0s] Everybody except Glim are knocked forward and you are going to.
[2183.7s] Wait, hold on.
[2184.3s] But is the daisy chain that I put around my head knocked off of me?
[2188.6s] No, no, but you're all going to take four bludgeoning damage.
[2195.6s] It's awfully steep for just falling forward.
[2198.4s] I mean, it's the explosion behind you more than anything.
[2202.1s] I'm still standing up, so can I be like, we're not.
[2206.1s] Hello, we're not, we're not dangerous.
[2211.2s] Did it come from the direction of the city?
[2212.7s] It came from the direction of the boat.
[2214.9s] Okay, just kidding.
[2215.9s] I don't do any of that.
[2217.0s] I thought you meant it came from the city and landed behind us.
[2219.7s] No, you hear as a loud projection of voice that says, grew, we're coming.
[2228.7s] Where are brothers?
[2229.8s] They were supposed to be with you.
[2233.1s] I say a little bit too loudly because, you know, the explosion.
[2237.8s] All those brothers sound the same.
[2242.2s] We have a very particular speech set.
[2245.8s] Your brothers, your brothers, they're headed back.
[2248.5s] They said everything's fine.
[2250.9s] We're all cool now.
[2253.4s] They've taken the other way home.
[2255.7s] Deception roll.
[2259.3s] 19 plus.
[2262.9s] Nine.
[2264.0s] 28.
[2268.1s] They took the other way home.
[2270.1s] Yeah, you know, the other way home.
[2272.6s] That's all they said.
[2273.4s] They said the long way.
[2275.0s] I don't know what that means.
[2276.9s] What am I to say?
[2278.2s] So they settled the debts then?
[2279.8s] You're good?
[2280.9s] That's what they said.
[2281.8s] I don't know why you're shooting at us.
[2283.3s] We're just, look, we're just frolicking.
[2284.9s] We weren't even running.
[2285.8s] We're just going to this town.
[2288.2s] Let's see your toes.
[2290.7s] Okay.
[2292.5s] Here's my toe.
[2293.6s] Here's my other toes.
[2297.5s] Oh, but I gave them the thing back.
[2299.8s] They said, oh, I see what you're saying.
[2302.1s] Yeah, that's too many toes.
[2303.5s] We're going to have to come in.
[2305.0s] I see what you're saying now.
[2307.7s] No, no, I think he said 12.
[2309.1s] I actually have 12 toes.
[2310.3s] I hold up bread.
[2311.0s] They took two.
[2312.1s] I was born with webbed feet.
[2313.6s] I got 12 toes actually.
[2315.6s] And they took two.
[2316.5s] Look, they're gone.
[2318.5s] You see them crawling or climbing out of the boat.
[2321.9s] Deception roll on your webbed toes.
[2324.5s] It's not going to hold for the first one.
[2325.8s] 17 plus nine.
[2328.8s] 26.
[2329.7s] You see them kind of standing and talking to each other,
[2332.3s] being like, did he have webbed toes?
[2334.2s] I don't know if he had a webbed toes.
[2336.2s] My whole family has webbed toes.
[2337.9s] Every right guys, everyone knows that.
[2340.1s] I have toast right here.
[2342.1s] I'm still holding up bread.
[2343.4s] You see one of them reach into the boat
[2345.2s] and check his ledger book.
[2347.3s] It says, you put down here when we talked to you last
[2350.3s] as you had 10 toes.
[2351.9s] Well, you know, I'm always embarrassed by it.
[2353.6s] It's like a family secret.
[2355.4s] It's embarrassing to have 12 toes.
[2358.5s] You see one of them, the guy holding the book,
[2361.4s] kind of put it up and lean on the boat.
[2363.4s] The other one walks over with his hands up.
[2365.7s] He's stepping towards you.
[2366.9s] He's like, look, we just want to talk now.
[2370.9s] You're trying to pull the wool over eyes about your toes.
[2373.6s] You're not pulling the wool.
[2376.5s] How far is it to the city?
[2378.4s] I mean, you could book it and get there
[2380.0s] in about, you know, five minutes.
[2382.2s] And how close are they?
[2383.9s] Well, he's at the river bed.
[2385.4s] So were you, I mean, you were probably
[2387.3s] kind of veering off the river.
[2389.9s] I mean, if we are all moving the same distance,
[2391.8s] I don't see how he could catch us.
[2393.0s] Unless he's much faster.
[2394.2s] Unless he's much faster than us.
[2398.2s] What do you want here?
[2401.6s] He's walking towards you, hands up.
[2405.5s] Oh yeah, I'd like to stand up.
[2406.3s] Did you guys get up?
[2407.3s] And I hold my toast in my hands
[2410.5s] because I still can't hear very well.
[2413.6s] I'm like, listen, you can have all the toasts you want.
[2418.8s] I'll back up a little bit as I yell my face.
[2423.0s] It was a big lead up to some robot noises.
[2438.7s] Now we're just the middle.
[2439.8s] And now you guys know Russ really is a robot.
[2442.4s] It's true.
[2443.3s] Malfunction, sorry.
[2446.1s] Shutting down.
[2447.9s] This is the middle where we tell you
[2450.1s] how awesome you are and thank you
[2452.2s] very much for listening.
[2454.1s] We really appreciate you being here with us.
[2456.1s] You are awesome.
[2457.7s] And you look great today.
[2459.0s] I know a lot of people are struggling
[2460.9s] with their quarantine hair, but yours looks great.
[2467.3s] It's really shiny.
[2468.5s] It's slapping or whatever Carla said earlier.
[2472.6s] Oh dear.
[2473.4s] Yeah, it slaps.
[2475.5s] Slaps, it slaps.
[2476.9s] Yeah, it's so good.
[2478.2s] Welcome to the middle where we know all the teens speak.
[2481.3s] We're just, we slap.
[2484.0s] You can catch Amy on TikTok.
[2487.3s] Oh, no, you can't.
[2489.0s] But what else do we do here?
[2491.6s] You know what else slaps.
[2493.3s] You know what else slaps?
[2495.3s] Patreon, supporting the podcast you love.
[2497.7s] If you can, Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[2500.5s] You can come join our lovely
[2502.0s] and wonderful community over there.
[2504.0s] They are absolutely all the best people
[2506.1s] and we would love to have you there.
[2508.7s] Right now we're trying to work towards our next goal,
[2511.9s] which includes some extra bonus content
[2513.8s] and maybe me singing some songs.
[2516.2s] Not maybe, we're going to reach that goal.
[2518.2s] Russ is going to sing those songs.
[2520.1s] This is the power of positive thinking.
[2522.0s] This is the power of positive thinking.
[2523.4s] I'm just going to secret the shit out of this.
[2525.3s] Just need a few more patrons and it's going to happen.
[2529.5s] That's right.
[2530.5s] It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.
[2534.4s] And if when is maybe like not now for you,
[2537.7s] because fair.
[2540.5s] You can still join us in a couple of really fun places,
[2544.1s] like on Facebook.
[2545.5s] Sure.
[2545.8s] Yeah, the Reckless Play Guild.
[2547.5s] You got to look that up.
[2548.7s] It's a whole bunch of people who love D&D
[2551.9s] and D&D adjacent things.
[2553.7s] So you can join us there.
[2554.6s] Or we have a Discord
[2556.3s] and you can come see among other things,
[2560.6s] memes, pets, general conversations,
[2563.3s] lots of good food.
[2564.0s] Pictures, a lot of food.
[2565.2s] Yeah, it's a lot of food lately.
[2566.9s] Everybody's stuck at home cooking good food.
[2568.9s] Well, what is great though is it develops,
[2571.4s] it like fosters a real feeling of we're like in this together
[2574.6s] because one person posts a recipe
[2576.6s] and then everybody else is like,
[2579.0s] Dutch baby pancakes.
[2580.3s] Yeah, the Dutch baby pancake craze.
[2583.8s] If you would like to revolutionize your breakfast game.
[2586.5s] Oh my God.
[2587.0s] We make it once a week.
[2587.7s] Go check out our Discord.
[2589.2s] I maybe like it every two weeks
[2591.2s] just because I don't want to like play it out.
[2592.9s] But there's only two in your house though,
[2594.9s] with three of us here is once a week.
[2597.0s] With some leftovers.
[2598.3s] So good.
[2598.9s] But you just feel like,
[2600.0s] and then everyone's posting like I had to try it.
[2603.3s] And now we, some of us have a little more time on our hands
[2607.3s] or at least maybe needing to mix it up in the kitchen
[2610.5s] after you feel like you've cooked your 97,000th breakfast.
[2613.7s] It's just a real nice community of folks.
[2616.0s] So you can find both of those links,
[2617.3s] Reckless Play Guild and Discord down in the description
[2620.9s] or search on Facebook, the Reckless Play Guild.
[2623.5s] Discord you have to find down in the description
[2625.1s] because you got to be invited.
[2627.3s] Ooh.
[2627.8s] That's right.
[2628.6s] But that's down there.
[2630.1s] We want to send a big thank you to Sean Howard
[2633.2s] from The End of Time and Other Bothers,
[2634.4s] Alba Salix and The Civilized Podcast
[2637.4s] for joining us in this episode
[2639.8s] and the one previous in this storyline.
[2642.7s] Playing as Gru with that singing dagger
[2645.0s] that was provided by one of our patrons, Cathy.
[2648.4s] So thank you Cathy for that.
[2649.7s] And thank you Sean.
[2650.5s] Go check out all of his podcasts.
[2652.7s] So great.
[2653.4s] Both of them, Cathy and Sean.
[2655.0s] Yeah, both delightful.
[2656.7s] Top notch.
[2657.6s] And that's it for now.
[2658.9s] We'll get you back to the episode.
[2660.1s] Thanks for being here with us.
[2661.3s] Hopefully you're safe and fun and having a good time.
[2664.2s] Love you, bye.
[2665.2s] Okay, love you, bye.
[2666.5s] Bye.
[2669.7s] Are we letting him approach or are we running?
[2671.3s] What are we doing?
[2673.0s] Well, I think Gru is backing up as quickly as he's approaching.
[2676.2s] Okay.
[2676.6s] So everybody, he's just like,
[2678.8s] everybody just needs to remain calm.
[2681.2s] I don't know who you threes are.
[2683.7s] We'll take a toe tally in a little bit.
[2687.2s] Yeah, they like to keep their toes.
[2688.9s] Hey, I'm calm.
[2689.6s] Are you calm?
[2690.4s] Are you calm?
[2691.1s] I'm calm.
[2692.2s] You can have all my toast and I start to throw him
[2694.7s] any scraps of bread that I have.
[2695.3s] Why is he throwing bread at me?
[2697.2s] Those are his grandmother's toast.
[2701.2s] I don't know.
[2701.7s] He's crazy.
[2702.9s] He's crazy.
[2703.4s] You don't want to mess with him.
[2705.6s] Is your dagger on your hip or is it concealed?
[2710.1s] I have no idea.
[2710.9s] It's probably not concealed.
[2712.5s] Okay.
[2714.0s] I mean, he gets, he's walking and he's kind of...
[2716.1s] And we're backing up.
[2717.1s] Yeah.
[2717.3s] Okay.
[2717.7s] You're backing up.
[2718.5s] He's like, which dagger you got there, buddy?
[2723.0s] I just, just my normal dagger.
[2724.5s] I gave the other dagger to them.
[2726.6s] Just pull it out.
[2727.7s] And if it doesn't sing, we don't got any problems.
[2731.4s] So I like lift it up with the sheath.
[2733.2s] I'm like, look, it's all good.
[2734.4s] Put it back.
[2735.2s] You got to take it out of the sheath.
[2737.3s] And if it doesn't sing, we don't got problems.
[2741.1s] I grew turns and runs.
[2745.5s] Oh, buddy.
[2748.9s] He begins running towards you, running after you.
[2751.7s] What are the three of you doing?
[2753.7s] Maybe just stepping to the side.
[2755.4s] Yeah.
[2755.8s] I was also thinking the same thing.
[2758.3s] I was like, well, maybe I just move
[2761.7s] and let him like, you know, create a path for them to run through.
[2767.1s] The one pursues on foot.
[2769.8s] He's a little bit faster than grew
[2772.1s] because he's a much larger man.
[2774.4s] I wonder what this takedown is going to look like.
[2778.5s] Grew make a dexterity.
[2781.6s] We are obviously not heroes yet.
[2784.6s] Acrobatics or dexterity.
[2786.6s] But who's that?
[2787.5s] He stole from them.
[2788.8s] It's not like he is.
[2791.2s] None of these people are good.
[2792.5s] Who are we saving?
[2794.5s] I don't know.
[2796.4s] If anything, they're the wronged party.
[2798.3s] He stole from them and the other brothers are dead.
[2802.1s] Yeah.
[2802.8s] Yeah.
[2803.0s] This doesn't look good.
[2804.1s] You see the other guy at the boat get back into the boat
[2806.5s] and begin moving further down the river.
[2809.2s] The man is gaining on grew as grew is just fucking booking it
[2814.1s] towards the city.
[2815.2s] You see up in the like the the the wall,
[2819.3s] you see sentries or guards kind of pacing back and forth,
[2823.7s] watching this exchange as this man is running away from this
[2828.5s] much larger man and the brother just before he gets there,
[2834.4s] his foot snags in a hole and he falls
[2838.5s] but just grabs the edge of like the shirt collar of grew.
[2844.2s] Make a dexterity saving throw grew.
[2846.5s] Okay.
[2847.8s] That would be a plus six would be an 18.
[2851.9s] You feel his big pawed hand grab the back of your collar
[2856.7s] and pull back.
[2858.5s] You've got two choices here.
[2860.0s] You can let him take you down or you can lose your jacket.
[2864.0s] Who's in the jacket?
[2865.3s] As I'm screaming up to the guards,
[2867.3s] The Huns!
[2868.2s] They're invading!
[2869.6s] Hun invaders!
[2871.2s] They're invading!
[2872.9s] You see them raise their spears and crossbows
[2875.7s] as you are screaming towards your jacket slips off your arms.
[2879.8s] I'm from the nearest village!
[2881.7s] They've killed everyone!
[2884.1s] You see grew run into the city
[2887.1s] and is intercepted by guards who kind of grab him
[2889.9s] and take him off to the side.
[2891.1s] And I'm pointing.
[2894.1s] What do you three do?
[2895.3s] How long do you think we have to wait
[2899.7s] before then we go into the city
[2901.7s] so we don't seem like we're a part of this?
[2905.1s] Is there another entrance?
[2907.0s] Maybe we could just walk around
[2909.7s] and then like come at it from a different side.
[2915.5s] Yeah, I mean, I think you've got the right idea.
[2920.9s] We don't want them to think we're involved
[2922.7s] with that whole situation.
[2923.9s] No, this is real messy.
[2924.9s] It's bringing a lot of negative energy.
[2926.9s] Yeah.
[2927.5s] We want to approach more calmly,
[2929.3s] ask some questions, maybe get a map, eat some food.
[2933.3s] So just I say let's casually walk around the wall
[2939.3s] and see if there's another entrance.
[2942.6s] Okay, you casually walk around.
[2944.1s] You see the one brother who tripped,
[2946.1s] grab the jacket and begins running back towards the boat.
[2949.3s] You see a couple of crossbow bolts go wide
[2951.6s] as he climbs back in
[2952.7s] and they start heading back down the river.
[2955.8s] You find another entrance and you enter into the city
[2959.7s] and you see a big sign as you enter
[2961.6s] and it says Burdusk.
[2963.9s] It's a very busy town.
[2965.7s] There's lots going on as you walk through this market
[2968.1s] and the further in you get,
[2970.8s] you hear a familiar voice call out to you
[2974.7s] who is surrounded by three guards.
[2978.1s] Yeah, that's them.
[2980.4s] That's the other villages that survived,
[2983.4s] escaped from the hunt attack right there.
[2988.5s] That's them.
[2988.9s] And I kind of look behind us like
[2991.0s] back there, over there.
[2992.5s] Glam, Glam, Sully, yeah, that's him right there.
[2997.0s] You see one of the guards like gesture to you three
[3001.3s] and like motion to Gru for confirmation
[3003.7s] that those are the three he's talking about.
[3005.7s] Yeah, I don't know how to make this any more obvious.
[3007.7s] I know you're not paid a lot, you know,
[3009.8s] and I know it's not like you're high up or anything,
[3011.9s] but that's them.
[3012.9s] He nods and he walks over to you three
[3015.2s] and he says, excuse me, sorry to bother you.
[3019.3s] Do you know this man?
[3021.5s] The one who's yelling a lot and gesturing or wildly
[3024.9s] like he's had maybe ingested some sort of like
[3028.6s] hallucinogen or something.
[3031.4s] Oh, we did.
[3032.2s] Remember we saw that those mushrooms in the forest
[3034.5s] and you said, I know a lot about,
[3037.7s] about mycology and about mushrooms
[3039.5s] and these ones are really poisonous
[3041.1s] and they make you act totally crazy.
[3043.0s] Maybe he had some of those.
[3044.4s] Oh, could have been.
[3045.3s] But you do know him.
[3046.9s] Oh, no, no.
[3051.9s] Okay.
[3052.4s] No, we don't know him.
[3054.2s] Somebody make a deception roll.
[3055.7s] That'll be me.
[3057.6s] I don't know why I just said that.
[3059.3s] Do we trust Amy with daring choice?
[3061.3s] Yeah.
[3063.5s] I'm good with persuasion, but not deception.
[3065.9s] Deception is a plus four.
[3068.4s] Well, that's only a 13.
[3070.8s] He looks at you and says, okay, well, sorry to bother you.
[3075.6s] That's all right.
[3076.2s] I just hope he gets a helping hand.
[3078.9s] Yeah.
[3079.1s] We'll try and figure out where he needs to be.
[3082.0s] I guess.
[3082.8s] Is there a doctor maybe if he's feeling unwell?
[3086.7s] Maybe an asylum or something that he could go into.
[3089.7s] It's a possibility.
[3091.7s] He walks back over and says, all right, buddy,
[3093.6s] they say they don't know you.
[3095.0s] As soon as he starts walking back over,
[3096.6s] that's when Gru runs for it.
[3098.4s] Which way are you running?
[3100.1s] Just anywhere away from the guards.
[3102.1s] In a serpentine type pattern maybe.
[3105.0s] The guard turns around and kind of shakes his head
[3107.7s] towards the other two guards who then turn to look back
[3110.5s] at Gru who has bolted.
[3112.2s] He's gone.
[3112.9s] You see just the edge of his shirt,
[3116.1s] because he doesn't have a jacket anymore,
[3117.4s] the edge of his shirt kind of fly up around a corner.
[3121.2s] And that's the last you see of Gru.
[3164.9s] The intro and extra music long road ahead
[3167.5s] is by Kavin MacLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
[3170.9s] All other music, sound effects, and ambience
[3173.4s] can be found at epidemicsound.com.
[3176.3s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[3178.6s] Christian Brown, Creighton's Raven,
[3180.6s] Devin Michaels, Gabriel Lynch,
[3182.6s] Jacob Madden, Joshua Dixon,
[3184.8s] Kat Waterflame, and Stevie.
[3187.4s] To become a patron, visit Patreon.com
[3189.7s] slash dumb dragon cast where you get exclusive content,
[3192.7s] including an entire exclusive campaign,
[3195.3s] Dumbgeons downtime episodes,
[3197.3s] early access to our new show Facing Fate,
[3199.6s] as well as a whole slew of other amazing bonus
[3202.5s] exclusive content.
[3204.1s] Visit Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
[3206.9s] to check it out today.
[3208.7s] Okay, yeah, figured.
[3210.0s] All right.
[3211.7s] Okay, I mean, Mood, Glim, you guys,
[3214.1s] any suggestions here?
[3218.5s] Yep, said the wrong names.
[3219.9s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.